What doesn't kill you make you stronger.

I might not understand your situation, but I do understand the pain.

You are not the most unhappy person in this world. You are not the person who is suffering most in this world. 

You know what, there are a lot of things to be regretful of in my life. There are a lot of things I feel that I shouldn't have done. If I had ever been given the chance, I would chose to do otherwise. 

I lost people that I loved. Since I am an introvert, this matters a lot to me. I lost them because of my mistake. Do you know what, its very painful to remember all the memories while you know you can never have the chance at least in this dunya to get it back? To have it back?

Have you ever experienced when you missed someone but you realized that you cant meet them, you cant talk to them the way it used to be and you cant touch them, feel them?

I lost something that was dear to me. I lost doing something that I loved. I lost my plans. I lost my hope. I lost my purpose. I lost everything that meant a lot to me.

I was heart broken and still am. I have a lot of problems. I have a lot of regrets. I have a lot of upsets and disappointment feelings. 

But what doesnt kill you make you stronger. I survived and am still surviving. I have strong reason to end everything, to give up on my life, to suck my life out, to be a bad person, to hold grudge..to everything because im a human and im not perfect.

But I chose not to. Thats the only difference between you and me. Everything else, we are just the same. 

I was very fragile inside. I cared for people so much. I was deep. I was an easily crying person. I got easily attached to people and moments. These were all my weaknesses and for the records, some of them i still cant hoop over.

Allah tested me to make me stronger. To build something good in me. To prepare me for something bigger. I have gone through a lot of sufferings and I deserved to be happy.

So I chose to rise above. Because I have a choice and we all do.

If you're accusing me for not understand how hurtful or suffer your condition is right now, yes, i might not understand that, but I do understand the pain.

I really do. 

When you're broken, everything breaks

When youre broken, everything breaks. 

Or to be more precise, problems, hardships or negative events, all of them came in one shot, as if an approaching hurricane creating a domino effect.

That is the time when you feel absolutely hopeless. Speechless. Clueless. Ive gone through this, I guess, a lot of times since I am so stubborn and always go against normality. I'll do what I think is the right thing to do, and when it turns out the other way round, I bear the risk. 

Well. Youve been given choices and sometimes you made the wrong choice. It doesnt mean that youre a loser, it means that you have the courage to learn from mistake. This is the way when people start to grow and be a better person than before. They learn from mistake.

Oh ya well, back to square one, when you feel hopeless what did you do? Posting on facebook for countless of times stating that youre okay? Let me tell you this..when you are trying to convince yourself or other persons that youre okay, it means you are not okay. It means you need help and support. To have the courage to seek help and support first, you need to admit that you have problem, that you are now going through difficulties and need help.

As a muslim, who is the first person you will rush to? ALLAH.

"O Allah, this is too much, this is beyond my ability, I cant bear this, please make it easy for me.. I beg you o Allah."

Of course Allah knows best. Of course he inflicts us with difficulties because he knows we can bear it. But do we know that? No. We dont know what will happen, so we have to seek the help from Allah -- a source of getting courage and spirit to go through all this and what will be coming ahead.

Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest (Q13:28).

I dont say that everybody will feel this - it depends on how sincere and desperate you are in making the du'a, but as for me, after I have this heart to heart session with ALLAH and all out everything, I feel miraculously peaceful even though I was in the middle of a terrible hurricane. When we feel peace, thats the time when we can think better on how to solve our problems - because our mind is stable and ready. 

And of course Allah will help us in a way that fits. He might give us the idea of consulting this people, he might bring positive people around us etc etc. Its our own choice to lower our ego and grab all these chances.

When youre broken, everything breaks? I guess so unless you give your heart and all the damages to Allah to mend it. Everything will be just fine. That is why : 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” 
(Saheeh Muslim #2999)

Because they have faith in Allah..They have Allah.

Do you?